Social Stories to Improve Behaviors

I am a big fan of social stories to teach young children and/or children with special needs (any age) when there is a problem with a behavior or the child is anxious about a situation. The concept originated by Carol Gray. Although social stories are often used with children with an autism spectrum disorder, I have found that you can use them with many children with developmental delays or young children with no delays. Here is a link on how to make one:

http://www.ehow.com/how_5135970_use-social-stories.html

This link probably gives ideas for grade school children, and adapting it for the toddlers would mean doing more of the work. I have had my own children help me by coloring some of the pictures in the book.

I have made quite a few for my own children, and they like to read them even after the issue has been solved. Back when my daughter (now 7 years old) was three years old, she was very scared to go to swim lessons. So, through reading the story to her daily she became less anxious. That is because the predictability of the lessons lessened her anxiety. So often, children act up when they do not know what to expect, and through writing an individualized story about what may happen and what is expected of them, their anxiety may lessen.

Some of the stories that I have taught families to write for their child have included: going to the dentist, airplane rides, gymnastics class, swimming lessons, birthday parties, Christmas day, potty training, the choir singing at church, and the list goes on. Remember, when writing a social story to stay as positive as possible and emphasize the behavior you want from the child and don't say a bunch of "no" and "don't". For example, if the child has a problem with running in the hallways at school you may say in the book "we walk in the hallway quietly and slowly while listening to the teacher" as opposed to "we don't run in the hallway and disobey the teacher".

I would love to hear stories about some of your favorite social stories that you have helped write!

Gifts for Kids With Special Needs

It's that time of year already! Whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, or any other holiday filled with gift giving, it is time to think about what to give your loved ones. This can be difficult when thinking of what to get a friend or relative with special needs. Here is a link filled with considerations for gift giving to children with Autism:

Gifts for Kids With Autism | eHow.com

Many of the parents of the kids I work with like to identify adapted toys in therapy catalogs as potential gifts. The families then provide their friends and relatives with links to the therapy companies' websites. This is especially a good idea when the child has physical disabilities that limit the way he can manipulate commercial toys found in local retail stores. Here are a few companies to consider purchasing special needs toys from:

For infants, toddlers, and preschool age children: http://www.beyondplay.com/index.htm

For children of all ages: http://www.southpawenterprises.com/

and http://www.pfot.com/ and http://www.therapro.com/

Sense-Able Baby Website

Home Page

Great resource on sensory processing problems in infants. Also provides ideas on calming babies, understanding why they are crying, and body signals they give off to let you know when they are hungry, sleepy, or ready to play. Great links page on a variety of resources for babies who are typically developing and special needs.

The Impact of Denying That A Child Has a Disability

Denial is one of the five stages of grief. It is how many people cope through the day; if they had to think of a "problem" or be realistic, then maybe they would "fall apart"; maybe not even be able to function through the day. Whether it be denying that there is a plumbing, marital, or workplace problem, eventually the truth will surface. Unfortunately, when denying (for a lengthy amount of time) that a child has a disability, developmental delay, or other special need, it is not helping the child any. I do believe that all parents will go through at least a short-term denial, and that is normal. But when it lingers to the point that the child is not getting the help that he or she needs, then I perceive that to be unhealthy.

Common things I see a parent denying is that:

• The child needs genetic testing or other specialized testing such as an EEG or MRI
• The child needs to see a specialist such as a neurologist, orthopedic doctor, psychologist, etc.
• The child has more delays in development than perceived by the parents. This may be as simple as the parent cancelling therapy (speech, physical, occupational, ABA) sessions often because they are not deemed that important or as complicated as the parent refusing to follow through with a school district's or health care professional's suggestions such as receiving special education services
• The child's need for a wheelchair. Even if the child learns to walk someday, they need an immediate means of mobility and to be upright for socializing with peers; mobility helps the child's self-esteem, endurance, and attention span

So why does this bother me so much? Well, so often I know the child could be functioning better. But also I know that one day when that child's legs are so stuck in a certain position that he needs surgery just to stay out of pain or when that child still can't read and write well in the 3rd grade, that the parents are going to regret the choices they had made 5 years prior. So many of the parents that either deny or just don't realize that the child's disability is as severe as it is, feel extremely guilty once reality hits. I especially find this to be the case with parents of children with autism or severe learning disabilities. They beat themselves up for not detecting the early signs or just blowing them off. I will sign off by saying if you have fallen to a bad case of denial, then first of all forgive yourself and ask your child for forgiveness. Then, move forward and be your child's strongest advocate. You can't ponder on the past, but you can change the future!